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geckghost:

geckghost:

i’ve started letting my shibe sleep in my bed at night, and she always starts off snuggled under the blanket, then partway through the night she gets too hot and sticks her little snout out to get some fresh air. it is so cute it hurts my heart. dogs are so good. so good.

(via petitetimidgay)

owlmylove:

you don’t “beat” depression. you don’t “defeat” eating disorders. you survive them. stop making severe mental illnesses sound like something you can overcome just by throwing the right punch.

(via chronicillnessmemes)

kreebby:

glassesgirl0401:

robotmango:

madamethursday:

tariqk:

eclecticmuses:

roane72:

alwayshometomarvel:

roane72:

esterbrook:

roane72:

The thing about Tumblr that probably makes me saddest is the underlying assumption that women past a certain age (which seems to be about 25?) stop having any sort of outside interests beyond family/career/kids. Like, y’all are always so shocked that grown women have lives and can fangirl as hard as we did as teenagers.

It makes me sad not because it makes me feel old (although it does), but because these younger women are constricting their own lives–they fully expect that this will happen to them someday. Y’all deserve better. Y’all deserve to EXPECT better.

And worse than that, the idea that there’s something WRONG with a grown woman who has other interests.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

One of the biggest things I realized growing up? 

It doesn’t happen.

You expect somehow you will change when you are finally An Adult™. You’ll stop enjoying the things you enjoy now for something more “adult” or “mature.” You’ll FEEL like an adult and not like a child anymore. You’ll feel comfortable and secure and not scared and unsure and confused. You expect you will feel like you have your shit together.

But I can tell you that it doesn’t happen. You’ll still feel like the “you” you were at 15 or 17 or 19. 

You just have these…things to deal with. Like rent. And insurance. 

You have a job either because a) you like it or b) it keeps the lights and internet on. 

You’ll look up from fangirling one day and realize “Shit. I am twenty eight years old. That’s almost 30!” Or maybe it will be that you look down at the small child clasped around your legs and realize “That is my child. I have a child. A human being child.” Or maybe it will be that you have to negotiate your budget around con tickets AND a mortgage payment. 

Growing up isn’t a thing that happens. 

It’s a realization that it doesn’t happen. 

Holy shit, y’all. There are some AMAZING responses to this post. Yes, everything alwayshometomarvel says. All that.

Feeling like I wasn’t ‘adult’ enough fucked me up for years. I would cry at night and feel like a total piece of shit because I was married with a kid, and yet I still did ‘not adult’ things–I played MMOs, I cosplayed and went to conventions, I drew fan art and wrote fan fic. I kept waiting for the day that I would wake up and realize that what I really needed to be doing was the laundry, cleaning the house, making dinner every night, etc. Basically, be the ‘perfect’ wife and mother.

And somewhere between then and now, I somehow managed to tell myself…fuck it. I AM an adult. I go to work every day and pay the bills and help raise my son and take care of the house. I do legit adult things. AND I play MMOs, go to conventions, and participate in fandom. And THAT’S OKAY. I’m 32 years old now and finally at peace with that part of myself. (Having a supportive husband and kid doesn’t hurt either!)

@malaysianfeminist

All of this is such truth. Believing these things about growing up, and especially about being over 25? Really made it hard for me when I turned 30.

I was literally suicidal on my 30th birthday. I spent the whole day in tears. I felt like I had died and my life was now worthless and small and never going to be hopeful or full of promise or fun again. I felt like killing myself on my birthday because I bought into this lie that somewhere after your mid-twenties, you diminish as a woman because the only thing that made you alive and shiny was your youth.

I’m 31 now and I’m done with that shit. I’m over it. I don’t care if you think I’m too old for something. If I’m an old lady in Tumblr terms, then I’m past the legal age where I’m obligated to care what you think. 

So, I’m telling you girls out there right now who are in your teens and twenties, get rid of this idea of what older women are “supposed” to look like. Get rid of this idea that “soccer moms” don’t play video games or that all women over 25 should be married and contemplating kids. Get rid of the idea that fanfic and fandom and fun things are for “kids.”

Mostly, get rid of this notion that the only thing really valuable about you is your youth. Youth is part of life, but it’s not the most valuable or beautiful or exciting time of your life. I like my life at 30 about 1000% than I did at 15, 18, 20, even 25. 

on her deathbed, my grandmother pulled my mom close to her and said, “i don’t feel old. i don’t know how i’m supposed to feel. but inside, i still feel seventeen.” when I was a teenager, I used to think that story was sad; sad and strange somehow, like she’d been frozen in time. but now that i am a woman in my thirties, I understand. I understand her. I am a grown woman in the ways that matter. I listen to myself more, trust my experience more. but inside? I still feel the joy and rage and mess; I am still changing. we’re not frozen in time. we are just still growing.

the more we acknowledge that modern “adulthood” is largely a concept designed to sell vacuums and sedans, and not an arbitrary total overhaul of self at age 35, the more we can admit our ongoing capacity– no, our ongoing NEED for play and playfulness and exploration. those are childish things we should never have to put away.

When I was a teen all the adults around me seemed so somber. Career, family, and maybe a not-very-exciting hobby, like collecting stamps or breeding pigeons. Granted, my dad was already considered an oddball for playing the trumpet and collecting jazz records (and taking up cross-stitching at 65). And I thought, this is what it´s gonna be like, have fun while you´re young, with 30 all this will be over. You´ll mature and grow out of your immature habits like spend all your money on cinema tickets and makeup and music and turn your room into a mess at any given time.

What happened was I grew older. I got a driving licence and bought a car. A real car! Woah! Watch me go! They gave me a job. I rented a flat. Look mom I´m paying my rent! I have bills! I had a nagging feeling that I was lagging behind a little in maturing because I still felt like partying and spending my money on makeup and cd´s and my flat looked a mess at any given time. Okay, Rome wasn´t built overnight too, give it time.

I grew older still. I married and bought a house and at this point I started panicking. Like, okay, I have a responsible job and a husband and a car, shouldn´t I… grow up a litte? Instead, I spent most of my money on cd´s and vhs and game boy games, and I had a lot more square meters to turn into a mess at any given time (along with my husband, who always beat me at super mario bros and obsessively collected kinder surprise eggs). Sunday mornings, when everybody else was at church or with family, we lounged on the sofa and watched children´s TV.

And then I had a child. Erm sorry fate, but can you check that please? This child can´t possibly be for me? Look, you cannot give the responsibility for the wellbeing of another human to me. Yes yes I may look like 35 but inside I´m still 12! I will drop it!

And now I´m 45 and … yes, I feel a lot more confident and secure. I don´t get swept off my feet so easily, and I know that every drama, soul-crushing as it may be, will pass. I know my own strengths and resources and can tell when it´s time for a break before I hit a wall. But I´m still an awkward babbling mess around strangers, I squirm when I have to go to the bank and I procrastinate my tax declaration like hell. PTA evenings with the soccer mom squad make me nauseous, and luckiliy I have my bff there to hold my hand and eyeroll with and send texts under the table and get glared at by the teacher just like in the old days.

But most of all, I still laugh. I still like going out, I get drunk occasionally, I do silly things. I buy pink earrings and teal nail polish, I fangirl over anime and movies, I write smutty fanfiction and squeal over the latest merch. And I don´t give a shit if anyone scoffs at this middle-aged trashbag because this middle-aged trashbag is having fun.

There is hope for you. Party on girls!

Still in my early twenties and I’m already experiencing this. In particular… the things about worth being about how young I look etc. Every year I get older physically and I’m waiting for my mind to catch up. I’m not even 25 and I feel like my life is over because society says it’s time to grow up when I can’t even begin to know what that. 

This post meant a lot to me and now I’m crying. Bleh. Thank you, older tumblr, for contributing and explaining this feeling and providing comfort. It means a lot.

(via cauliflowerbitch)

my-username-was-taken:

I hate that “you can’t be ________ unless you let yourself feel that way” mentality.

That’s not true.

That’s what abusers say.

“You can’t be sad/angry/hurt/inferior unless you let yourself feel that way. I can’t make you that way.”

Actually, you do have the power to make other people hurt. And pretending they have a choice in whether or not your actions are harmful doesn’t erase that.

(via disgustinghuman)